Today’s “Being Practitioner”

Due to some family schedules, Mbak Rani (the psychologist of Puskesmas Depok I) asked me to take over her duty on this weekend: today and tomorrow. As usual, this place is lack of clients (aaaggghhhh…). I considered it as “OK, it’s 9 o’clock and no clients are coming, and it seems like it won’t.” and then I go downstairs, sat around pharmacist room. But I didn’t take too long to realize that I was wrong. Finally I heard the registry officer called my name and gave me a medical record, which meant “I’ve got a client!”. Yeah, that was my first client.

She’s 51-year-old woman, widowed, have two daughters, sent by the doctor who examined her first. During the counselling process, she focused her problem on financial matters. Yup, based on my experience in Depok I, most of middle-aged woman who consulted with psychologist focused their problem arround the financial issues. She talked a lot, emotionally expressive, and I responded with humanistic techniques and supportive contents.

Mrs. X: “Gitulah mbak… aq yo wong ra ndhuwe… arep mangan yo ra iso blonjo… arep diapake mbak uripku iki…” (crying…)

dJengWidZ: “Saya memahami kondisi ibu saat ini… Rasanya hidup ibu sudah mentok ya bu… Hmmm… sejauh ini ibu sudah menjalaninya seperti apa…? Apa yg ibu lakukan untuk menyiasatinya…?” (boten saget boso bu… wis tak kandani neng ngarep toh Bu??? Hehehehe…)

Mrs. X: “Yo ngutang sana sini mbak… klo nggak ya saya dan anak2 saya itu ora iso mangan. Lha piye mbak, anakku iki loro, loro2ne wedok, ra nduwe gawean barang. Sing siji wis berkeluarga, udah punya anak satu, tp masi belum cukup jg lantaran bojone ora nduwe gawean sing mantep, mung srabutan neng toko. Yo mreka skeluarga masih tinggal di rumah saya, yang nanggung saya. Anak saya yg satu lagi juga, kerjaannya mung dolanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan wae. Saya ini capek mbak, capek…makanya jd setres saya… (it’s billingual…)

dJengWidZ: “Iya… ibu stres karena selalu kepikiran itu kan… tidur juga mesti terganggu, badan rasanya g enak semua…” (she nodded her head while I was speaking, yes!!! Correctly paraphrased :p)

Mrs. X: “Iya mbak, saya tu klo malam g bs tidur. Kepikiran terus…”

dJengWidZ: “Biasanya ibu melakukan apa bwt memenuhi kebutuhan sehari2 ibu…?”

Mrs. X: “Ora ono gawean mbak, saya ya minta sm anak saya. Kalo ada ya alhamdulillah… klo g ada ya maw gimana lagi… paling2 ngutang…”

dJengWidZ: “Ooo… ibu memang g berpenghasilan sendiri, begitu bu? Karna kalau ibu punya sampingan kan mungkin bisa sedikit menutupi… paling tidak bwt ibu sendiri… entah itu dengan bantu-bantu tetangga… atau apapun yang ibu senang mengerjakannya…” (it’s somekind of suggestion…)

Mrs. X: “Hmmm… nggak’e mbak. Saya itu ngliatnya tetangga-tetangga saya itu sugih2… dan saya malu untuk minta pekerjaan sama mereka. Saya itu dr dulu gak pernah kerja mbak, pas bapak itu masih idup saya bener2 kayak g mikir apa2, hidup saya enteng. Gak kayak sekarang ini…” (crying again…)

dJengWidZ: “Hmmm…” (I’m just humming… I smelled a ‘defense mechanism’ here…)

Mrs. X: “Saya udah g tau harus gimana lagi mbak… saya minta tolong mbak… kalo mbak ada pekerjaan untuk saya… atau mbak tau ada orang yang bisa kasi saya pekerjaan… mbok saya ditolongin mbaaaakkkkk…” (keep on crying…)

dJengWidZ: “He???”

I don’t know what was on her mind, maybe I looked like a ‘talent-seeker’, or ‘job finder’, or even ‘HRD manager’ of this public health center. I don’t mean to discuss about her any further in this post. But in conclusion, she need to get over her defense first and ‘disengaged’ with her past (happy life).

When I handled this emotional client, another couple was waiting outside my room. I met them after I finished with the first client. They looked unsure with their decision to meet a psychologist. Then I tried to open the conversation…

dJengWidZ: “Hmmm… Mbak X & Mas Y yah… gmn…?Ada yang pengen diceritakan…?”

Mbak X & Mas Y: “Hmmm……” (They took to much time to discuss who speak first)

Mas Y: “Hmmm… gini bu… kami berdua ini datang ke sini… hmmm… untuk berkonsultasi… hmmm… sebenarnya sudah lama kami punya masalah… dalam rumah tangga kami… bgitu bu…” (damn, why did they call me ‘Bu’??? Why on earth!!!)

Mbak X: “Iya bu… gitu…”

dJengWidZ: “Hmmm… iya… gmn…?”

Mas Y: “Hmmm… kami punya masalah… hmmm… hehehe…”

dJengWidZ: “He???” (what made him so cengengesan???)

Mas Y: “Hmmm… gini bu… kami itu punya masalah dalam hubungan suami istri bu…”

Owalaaahhhh… OK, I finally got what was on their mind… it’s abouuuuuttt……..

dJengWidZ: “Ooo… ya ya ya… ada masalah dlm hubungan seksual ya…?”

Mbak X & Mas Y: “Iya bu… hmhmhm…”

Mas Y: “Jadi istri saya ini kayak fobia gitu bu… dan sampai saat ini kami belum berhasil untuk melakukannya… karna istri saya ini suka mendadak jd takut setengah mati gitu bu…”

dJengWidZ: “Ok… kalau boleh saya tau mas sm bu udah berapa lama menikah…?

Mbak X: “Bulan Agustus taon lalu bu…”

dJengWidZ: “Hooo…??? Dan itu belum berhasil juga…?”

Mas Y: “Iya bu, awalnya saya berpikir itu biasa karna kami baru menikah. Tapi ini sudah berbulan-bulan bu, ya memang kami pasangan muda. Samalah kayak ibu, ibu jg kayaknya juga belum lama menikahnya kan… ibu ngertilah ya, kalau masih di bulan-bulan awal… memang agak sulit…”

OW MY GOSH!!! What happen with my face??? Am I looked like a married woman??? Ow ow ow… it’s gonna be a prayer… wish I get married soon (Lho koQ jd curcol???).

dJengWidZ: “Iya mas, memang ketika di awal terasa agak sulit ya… ya namanya juga pengalaman pertama. Mas dan mbak pada dasarnya meiliki kecemasan yg sama, hanya saja skrg masalahnya klo mbak masih berkutat dgn kecemasan yang malah berkembang jd ketakutan, ya mbak…?” (So I acted like a MARRIED WOMAN… OK? NEWLYWED!)

Mas Y: “Iya bu, jd selama ini setiap berhubungan saya selalu gagal… hmmm… gagal… itu… hmmm…”

dJengWidZ: “Gagal penetrasi?”

Mas Y: “Iya mbak, itu… gagal masukin…”

dJengWidZ: “Hmmm… Oya, kdg2 kita suka melupakan pentingnya foreplay lho mas, ya warming-up itu perlu, apalagi untuk hubungan seks…” (Yeaaahhhh!!! I’m an EXPERT!!!)

Mas Y: “Kami sudah mencoba berbagai metode pemanasan mbak… bla… bla… bla…”

I got on this ‘adult’ topic for about 20 minutes before I gave up and suggested them to make an appointment with a sexologist. It was like… ow my GOD, it’s OK actually but I didn’t prepare anything for this kind of case. And maybe they thought that it wasn’t a right decision to meet a psychologist (especially me) and talked about sexual problem.Well, at first I felt like it’s kinda weird to handle a counselling after couple months I hadn’t been involved in this kind of job. I had to try it all over again from the beginning, so the same like when I was a real newbie in this place. Hopfully this two days could be a ‘warming-up’ for my therapy session in my thesis project… hooossssshhhhhh…

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